Internal Family Systems (IFS) · Online therapy in NY & DE
IFS therapy: making peace with every part of you
If one part of you is desperate to heal while another keeps slamming the door, you're not broken — you're a system doing its best to protect you. IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy helps those parts stop fighting and start trusting you again.
What is IFS therapy?
Internal Family Systems is an evidence-based therapy built on a strangely freeing idea: your mind is made up of "parts." There's the inner critic, the people-pleaser, the part that goes numb, the part that braces for the worst — and beneath all of them, a calm, steady core that IFS calls the Self. Your parts aren't flaws to fix. They're protectors that took on their jobs, often long ago, to keep you safe. IFS helps you turn toward them with curiosity instead of shame, so the ones carrying old pain can finally set it down, and the ones working overtime can rest. Nothing about you is pathologized. Every part is welcome here.
What IFS can help with
This work can be life-changing for complex and childhood trauma, relentless self-criticism, anxiety, shame, emotional numbness, and that exhausting sense of being at war with yourself. Because IFS is gentle with your nervous system, it's often a good fit when other approaches have felt like too much, too fast — and it blends naturally with EMDR and Brainspotting when deeper reprocessing is needed.
What it's like in session
There's no being thrown into the deep end. We start by getting curious about a single part — where you feel it in your body, what it's afraid would happen if it let go, what it actually needs from you. We move only as fast as that part feels safe to move. Most people are surprised by how natural it feels, and by how differently they start to treat themselves — with patience instead of pressure. And it all works beautifully over secure video, from the comfort of your own space.
My approach to IFS
IFS isn't a technique I add on — it's the heart of how I work. I'm trained in IFS (Level 1) and weave it through everything I do, integrating it with EMDR and Brainspotting so your care is shaped around you, not around a single model. With more than 15 years in complex trauma and a career that taught me to stay grounded when things get hard, I'll be a calm, steady presence while you get to know your inner world — and I'll never ask you to do it alone.
For service members and veterans
Military life asks you to build parts that stay armored, mission-ready, and silent about what they carry — and those parts don't stand down easily, even long after service. IFS offers a different kind of debrief: a way to understand those protectors, honor what they did to keep you alive, and let the parts underneath finally rest. You don't have to disclose anything you can't. As someone who's served, I understand the culture and the cost.
Questions, answered
Is IFS effective for trauma?
Yes. IFS is especially well-suited to complex and childhood trauma because it works gently, building safety before it ever asks you to go near the hard parts.
Does IFS work over telehealth?
Very well. IFS is largely an internal, reflective process, so it translates naturally to secure online sessions — many people find it even easier from home.
How is IFS different from regular talk therapy?
Instead of only talking about your struggles, IFS helps you build a relationship with the parts of you underneath them. That shift often reaches places talk alone can't.
Do I need to know which "part" to work on?
Not at all. You just show up — we'll discover your parts together, one at a time, at your pace.